Nursery – is it really that bad?!

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In 6 weeks time, it’ll be all change again! I’ll have just had a year off work for the first time, and have gone through more emotions than I ever knew were possible! Plus, I managed to bag myself a promotion that I didn’t think would happen for at least 5 years. So, all in all, it’s been a busy year!

I have decided to go back to work full time (as financially it won’t be possible to do so when I have more than  one child!), and so the little man is going to be at nursery full time. I feel at ease with this decision as he has turned into the most boisterous of little chaps, and needs constant attention / entertaining, so i’m pretty sure he’s going to have an amazing time. To help my decision, I have also seen friends who have done a similar thing, and their children have not only loved it, but also developed significantly.

All in all, I thought it was a positive move, but, the mum guilt always comes in when people start making comments about your decision.

” 5 days a week, really?’

“Oh, that’s going to be a really long day isn’t it?”

“Full time? How come?”

And after those comments, that’s when you start to feel really sh*t about your decision, and wonder whether you are doing something wrong.

I have since spoken to a number of mum friends who have not gone back to work full time, and hence only have their babies in childcare for a few days a week. I asked them why they made their decisions, and the majority of them said it came down to cost of childcare and how they couldn’t afford it. After they had received their take home pay, and paid nursery, there wouldn’t be anything left. Those conversations made me feel a bit better, as it wasn’t due to the fact that nursery was the “devil”, or only “bad parents” left their children at nursery full time, it was due to the horrific cost of childcare in the UK.

In Sweden, the monthly childcare costs are capped at around £250. I’m going to be paying £1300. I wonder just how many parents would change their mind about the hours they worked if they only had to pay £250.

I think there is also a big difference in generations. Our parents / grandparents generation were used to having a lot of stay at home mums and mums being the ones responsible for raising the children. For me, I went to university, I have worked hard for 10 years to get ahead in my career, and therefore have to try and juggle this and motherhood – something some of the older generations don’t seem to understand.

I grew up with parents who owned a shop and worked full time, with barely any time off. Growing up and seeing this made me realise the value of money, and appreciate just how hard they worked, and what they sacrificed to help us get to where we are now. I want my children to grow up with the same values, and appreciate just why mummy works, and that actually, mummy and daddy both earn money for their family.

I am very fortunate that my salary will cover nursery costs, and that I can carry on with my career. But, just because i’ve made the decision to put my little boy in full time nursery, it doesn’t mean I love him less. I’m doing it so that we can buy him nice things, go on holidays, and appreciate the time that we do have together at weekends by planning in lots of fun days out.

I really wish that people would stop judging, and look at the positives of why nursery will be a good thing!

Rant over.

Mummy S x

 

Mummascribbles

The Pramshed

12 Comments

  • katie June 20, 2017 at 11:45 am

    My daughter started daycare today, she is nearly two and I am sure she will love it. She went when she was younger and I was working, and I felt guilty about that. Now she is older and very much ready, but I’m home with our newborn so I feel guilty this time too. People have been judging and asking why I’m sending her when I’m at home. But, as mums, we have to decide what is best for our family and make these decisions based on what our family needs / wants, not based on what others think. Good luck.

    Reply
    • MummySetra June 21, 2017 at 10:13 am

      Thank you – great advice!

      Reply
  • Not Just Phoebe June 20, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    Don’t feel bad, like you say they are going to grow up knowing mummy worked hard for them, my daughter does 4 half days a week but over summer is changing to 2 longer days, so i can things done and also get out and about with her little sister who’s 10 weeks on friday. I hope it goes well and it does get easier. good luck x

    Reply
    • MummySetra June 21, 2017 at 10:13 am

      thank you!

      Reply
  • Not Just Phoebe June 20, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    Forgot the #TwinklyTuesday tag x

    Reply
  • Kelly | and Jacob makes three June 21, 2017 at 11:02 am

    He’ll love it I’m sure! Don’t feel bad at all #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
  • fancy June 21, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Mine are loving their crèche even though the cost is phenomenal. I find they like the routine and the other kids about. #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  • The Squirmy Popple June 21, 2017 at 7:23 pm

    Nursery costs are a bit issue for a lot of people. I would definitely send my daughter in full time if it was 250 pounds! I pay just under 1000 pounds a month for just four days a week – my salary covers nursery, rent and absolutely nothing else. It’s bonkers. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Reply
  • Kelly June 25, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    I work 4 days a week and have been back for 18 months now. I don’t regret one minute going back to work. I love it. She loves nursery too which helps. Do what you feel is best for you and your family. You ‘ll get those comments but to be honest, those people don’t matter. What does matter is that you are happy. Thank you for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
    • MummySetra July 7, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      Thank you, hearing peoples experiences like this really do help!

      Reply
  • Jayne July 25, 2017 at 6:31 am

    Full time nursery is no bad thing but be warned, you might find it harder than you think at first. You’ll miss him like mad but in the moments of doubt you must remember why you’re doing this. Ignore those who judge. This is your life and you know best x

    Reply
    • MummySetra July 25, 2017 at 7:20 am

      Thanks Jayne, yes i’m sure I will miss him like crazy, but just have to remember why i’m doing it and why i’ve made this choice.

      Reply

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