When did I become invisible?

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I’m not exactly sure when it happened, and it took me a few weeks to realise, but suddenly, as soon as I had pushed a baby out, people didn’t want to know about ME anymore.

Family and friends who used to call me for a chat, ask me to go to dinner / shopping, all of a sudden didn’t want to know about me, it was all about this little human being that i’d pushed out of me.

Nine months later, trying to get back into the swing of “normal” life,  I am starting to feel it even more. With certain people in my life who don’t seem to want to know about me, and just the little one, I often ask myself where I went wrong. Or, why, the attention shifts so much that people don’t think you matter, or have feelings.

I wonder whether I am over analysing the situation, but to me it’s quite clear that the attention has fully shifted to the little man. During my pregnancy these people used to want to speak to me, and listen to what I had to say, and do fun things together. These days, I may as well not be in the room, as half of the things I say seem to get ignored as they are too busy cooing over the baby – and no, I’m not wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak!

Thankfully there are some great people in my life who still remember that,  yes, I may be a mummy now, but first and foremost, I am still a person. Something that I wish more people would remember.

People say that weddings and babies change people, and I really have found that. Relationships have certainly changed, and I have really been able to see those people who actually care about me, and those who are only interested in the baby I pushed out.

I love my little boy to bits, and am so pleased that he is loved by so many people, but, it is still disheartening to know that some people’s attention has shifted so much towards him that I feel invisible to them most of the time.

I read a great blog post by Sian over at Quite Frankly She Said about how she hardly has any photos of her with her children, and I can completely relate to that. Everyone wants a photo of themselves with a cute baby, or a picture of the cute baby on their own, but no one wants a picture of that baby with their mummy. My phone is therefore filled of selfies, as that is the only way I know I will get photos of the two of us together.

I am lucky to have a very supportive group of friends in my life who I can talk to quite honestly, but I can now see one of the reasons women may suffer from postnatal depression after their babies are born, and how easy it is to miss.

People need to remember that although there is a lovely new baby entering their lives, the babies mum is still a person, just like she always was – so don’t forget to treat her like one.

Mummy S x

Mummascribbles

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

7 Comments

  • Lucy | Real Mum Reviews May 9, 2017 at 9:38 am

    I can so relate to this! You definitely learn who your friends are when you have children, I can now count my true friends on one hand! #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
  • Lindsay May 9, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    I would like to add that as a mommy even if you have to keep saying no to going out and not being able to catch up with a friend, please keep asking the mom. Because there is that 1 out of 10 chance that we will be able to get together and it will be the highlight of our week.

    Reply
  • All about a Mummy May 12, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    I was warned about this while I was pregnant but was still quite shocked when it happened! I was like a switch was flicked and no-one had any interest in me anymore! It was obviously highlighted by how much attention I and bump had been getting during the pregnancy. My friends who didn’t have kids were actually the best company as they didn’t spend all the time talking about babies! It didn’t feel quite so bad second time around, perhaps because I was already euthanised to it!!! #twinklytuesday

    Reply
  • Lisa (mummascribbles) May 12, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    Great post. I think it’s so easy to forget who we once were and even more so when friends don’t show an interest. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Reply
  • Ann from Rainbows are too beautiful May 15, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    So easy to forget about the mum, and then to forget about yourself too! #kcacols

    Reply
  • Lydia C. Lee May 20, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Ha! I’m a mum of teens and I’m completely invisible in the house I live in. It drives me BANANAS. In those baby days, you’re still very much in the spotlight! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Kimberley | Oh Just My Little Blog May 22, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    I always try to ask after the mummy too but I’ll admit to always wanting a photo with the baby! I’ll be sure to offer to take a photo of mum and babe from now on! x
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

    Reply

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