Would you use a dummy?

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Dummies are one of those contentious subjects that everyone has opinions on –  whether they are a parent or not, and something people tend to ‘overshare’ their opinions on.

In our NCT classes, we were provided with some questions to discuss as a couple before our new bundle of joy arrived, and one of them was:

‘Would you give your child a dummy?’

Straight away my answer was no. And thinking back, it was entirely due to my misconceptions as someone who thought she knew best, and had seen lots of children walking around with dummies in their mouth whilst trying to have a conversation – something that I didn’t agree with. And therefore, that was just how I saw dummies, as a negative.

Fast forward 6 months, and having a child who started the teething process at 3 months old. I googled everything to do with teething, and felt helpless as he was way too little to hold anything to chew on. I read an article that said dummies helped with babies who were early teethers, but, I was still carrying around these feelings about using a dummy – and in hindsight, oh how stupid I was!

After a few weeks, when nothing was helping, and he was obviously in pain, I bought a dummy. ‘It’s only for his teeth’ I explained to my husband, which was me trying to justify it to myself. It was a flipping MIRACLE! He loved it, and it seemed to do the trick. I couldn’t believe it! But, I thought to myself, it’s only going to be used as a short term solution.

Little Z was a VERY sucky baby, and I was finding that he would use the boob as an aid to fall asleep, which many books had told me was ‘forming a bad habit’ (stupid know it all books!)
So, I wondered if the dummy would be a good substitute, and started using it for nap time. It worked wonders, and from then on it was used for nap times and bad teething pain.

Although i’d made the decision to use a dummy, as I felt it was the best thing for him, and provided him with comfort, I still felt myself trying to justify it to other people. Especially other mothers who hadn’t opted to use the dummy, and I felt like a ‘bad mum’ pulling it out in baby classes when no one else had done so. I had also promised myself that it would be gone by the time he was 9 months old.

The truth? We didn’t get ‘rid’ of it until he was 16 months old, and in fact, it was nursery who initiated it by removing it successfully during nap times. Then, when I had a stretch of time off work over christmas, I got rid of it from his bedtime routine, and I was shocked at how easy it was – after a few days he had totally forgotten about it.

The take home message?
Do what you need to do for your baby, and do not think about what others may think! The next time round, I will NOT be thinking about what others may think, or feel guilty, and i’ll do what’s best for providing my baby comfort.

 

Mummy S x

 

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

15 Comments

  • Nicola April 24, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    I was hesitant but baby sometimes wouldn’t settle and was told to put finger in his mouth by midwife. I thought a dummy would be more hygenic! Now at 22 months and baby number 2 on the way I am dreading trying to get it off him. He only uses it when he is tired and teething but is so dependent on it when he is either of those things! I feel the dentist may have something to say about it and I’m terribly worried about any effects it has had on his teeth. Something I need to tackle sooner rather than later, but I keep remembering alevel psychology and Freud and scared he will end up smoking if I take it too early 😂

    Reply
    • MummySetra April 29, 2018 at 11:55 am

      Sometimes it is just easier to carry on – you have to do what is best for you. We were lucky that nursery took the first step successfully, so was easy for us to follow suit. 2 days of being tough and he forgot all about it!

      Reply
  • Amie April 24, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    I’d love to hear how you weaned off the dummy. I’m in the same boat with a 13 month old, she adores her dummy for sleep and chill time but I do have images of her having it when she’s 2 or 3 and have no idea how to wean off of it without it causing complete chaos!

    Reply
    • MummySetra April 29, 2018 at 11:51 am

      I literally just removed it and it took 2 days of being upset and then he forgot all about it!! Cold turkey was the best way, but you have to stick to your guns…… good luck!!

      Reply
    • MummySetra April 29, 2018 at 11:56 am

      Nursery instigated it but it took us 2 days of remaining firm! It’s very easy to just give in! Good luck!

      Reply
  • Jessica Powell April 29, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    I was the same – I had all these images of it being a slippery slope. We’d give our newborn a dummy and suddenly she’d be seven and still sleeping with it or something! It was actually NICU who suggested we give her one to help develop her sucking control (she was being tube fed at that point), and then when she turned about three months she started losing interest in it. They’re all individuals and you have to do what’s best for them. x #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Sarah April 29, 2018 at 6:39 pm

    I too saw it as a negative, and in a way I was so glad we had to give it up while she was still so young. I definitely wouldn’t use one again, but it’s you choice! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Tubbs April 29, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    We gave the Tubblet a dummy when she was little and she seemed to thrive on it. When she got to 2, we announced that it was going on a permanent holiday as she was a big girl now. She was fussed a bit but the lure of being seen as a big girl was too great. #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Amy April 30, 2018 at 9:16 am

    I always said I wouldn’t use a dummy with my children and then used it for both! Do what works for you, ignore other peoples comments. #kcacols

    Reply
  • Carol Cameleon May 4, 2018 at 4:46 pm

    I didn’t really want our 8yo to have a dummy but she had one. In the end, she decided herself that she didn’t want one and her speech hasn’t been compromised. Like you say, do what’s best for you and your family. #kcacols

    Reply
  • Kate May 8, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    I didn’t use a dummy for my first baby, she wouldn’t take one and just breastfed for comfort whenever she needed to which was fine. My second baby had silent reflux and his GP actually suggested introducing a dummy even though he was also breastfed to help create extra saliva and possibly help with the acid. I did introduce one and I was panicking about weaning him off it at a later date but he just gradually stopped using it of his own accord so I needn’t have worried at all. Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS hope to see you again next week!

    Reply
  • Sara May 10, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    I totally agree with you – you’ve got to do what you have to do! Before having children I was also against dummies, but I won’t hide that I eventually tried giving one to all 3 of them! None of them took it, but if they had, we would have ended up with children using dummies. And that wouldn’t have been the end of the world! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

    Reply
  • Malin May 10, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    I too had those preconceptions, that a dummy was something bad. In hindsight, I think my son could have benefited from using a dummy. It makes me feel a bit daft really, for sticking to some ideas which I’m not even sure where they came from (my mum, possibly??).
    Great post, hopefully some expecting mothers read it and change their mind if they’re against the use of dummies xx #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Beth Owen May 11, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    Totally agree with you lovely.
    2 out of 3 of mine have had dummies! My second refused one. No one should be judged on what they give their child. #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Bread May 11, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    We didn’t use a dummy. My son is almost two. When my wife was pregnant, my friend was fighting with her daughter over the dummy and my wife just said we won’t bother. So we didn’t. The pros did outweigh the cons for us but I think we lucked out with this one. #kcacols

    Reply

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