Yes, i’m planning to return to work – FULL TIME…….

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Halfway into my maternity leave I was approached by my boss about an opportunity that was coming up – someone was leaving to do a long term secondment, and they had thought of me as a potential candidate. I was made up that they’d thought of me, especially seeing as I was on maternity leave!

The job would be a promotion, which would mean more money and responsibility – something that I hadn’t seen myself getting for at least another 5 years. I went home and told my husband who said that I should go for it, and if nothing else, it would be good interview experience.

Over the next few weeks, every time the little man napped, I caught up what had been going on in the pharmacy world over the past 6 months, and prepared for the interview. I was exhausted by the end of it as I was getting zero time to get anything else done or get any rest! But, I wanted to give it my best shot. And it was kind of nice being able to use my brain!

 

 

I went off into town with the little one in tow, and handed him over to his dad outside of my work before the interview. During the interview it felt really nice to be the “old me”, but I was also starting to realise just how out of the loop I was when they were asking me scenario based questions. My usual sharpness just wasn’t there! I came out of the interview feeling quite deflated, so was completely shocked when they called me to offer me the job the next day!

I was super shocked! Me? The “mum” me whose brain is sleep deprived? YOU WANT ME?! It was a great boost for my confidence and I was super happy.

That was, until the first person said to me “What, you’re going back to work full time? And you’re going to leave him in nursery 5 days a week?”

And that, is when the mum guilt kicked in. And, the annoyance.

Yes, I’m going back to work full time. I have a career that I have worked extremely hard to build up over the past 10 years, and I love my job. But, that does not mean I love my baby any less. I would do absolutely anything for him and he is my main priority. But, being a stay at home mum won’t make me love him more.

He is going to a good nursery, where he can interact with others on a daily basis, and participate in many more activities than I could ever do with him at home. Plus, they have so many more facilities making it more enjoyable for him, rather than the same toys on rotation at home. I have seen children of friends who have gone to nursery from the age of 1, and not only have they have loved it, they have developed so much quicker, and most importantly been happy. Hence, it makes me feel so much better about my decision.

 

 

Also, I am going back to work for him. I don’t want to have to make do, I want us to be able to still buy nice things, go on family holidays and days out, and the only way to do that comfortably is to go back to work. It means that I will make sure I am spending quality time with him in the evenings, rather than the current maternity leave scenario of running around trying to get chores done whilst he is playing. It will also make weekends and family time that little bit more special.

I’m really fed up of the people that just don’t get it and feel the need to judge. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that me having a baby meant that I had to give up on my career, and that sending him to nursery so he can engage with other children makes me a bad mother.

I think once upon a time it was quite standard for mums to stay at home with their children, so there are many from a certain generation who just don’t understand us career mums.

I understand that I “can’t have it all”, but, I’m going to give it a good go and try to strike a balance that works for us. And i’ll make sure that he is happy – as that is the most important thing.

Who knows, one day I might end up being a stay at home mum, and i’ll make that decision when the time is right. But for now, I am doing what I feel is best for all of us – please don’t judge me.

Mummy S

 

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12 Comments

  • iveth (fortheloveto.com) March 4, 2017 at 3:45 am

    Hi there, first time visiting your blog and loving it already…. Congrats on your new position. Girl power sista!!! 😉
    I, as you, went back to work after my maternity leave was over, I was judge for everyone I know just because I have 2 kids and continue working.
    Truth is that I was going crazy at home. I needed it some mature interaction, I was getting over baby talk, diaper changing and bottle feeding 24/7. (don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and babies are adorable). I end up working for 2 years and a become a Stay at home mom for some time (only 6 months) again .. I was missing work, Now I’m working part time and the rest of the time at home with the kids I may say that I had found my balance.
    You will get to find your balance, don’t worry.
    #ThatFridayLinky

    Join my link-up party here: http://wp.me/p6bxAJ-1ey

    Reply
  • Nige March 4, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Difficult decision good luck hope it all works out Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    Reply
  • Emily March 5, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    I could never be a stay at home mum. Before having kid started I thought that’s what I’d want to, but after a year of maternity I couldn’t wait to go back to work! I’m part time, but it’s a nice balance. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

    Reply
  • The Tale of Mummyhood March 6, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    I love that you have been so honest. I always wanted to be a SAHM, but now I’m here I know its not for me. It’s been so hard to pluck up the courage to admit I want to go back to work, for fear of being judged for ‘leaving my children’. The worst thing is that the people that are judging me are rather close to home. As you say though we have to make decisions that are right for us. I really love this post, congratulations on your new job and enjoy!! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS, hope you come back again next Sunday xx

    Reply
  • Helen @Talking_Mums March 7, 2017 at 11:38 am

    Congrats on the job. We all just do what is right for our own families and nobody should judge another on their decisions. I’ve taken a career break for 5 years so still have security of a job but get to be a SAHM for 5 years. I can go back earlier if needs be too.
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Lisa March 8, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Lots of us work full time. I went back after 4 months with my first and 5 months with my second. They are both happy as ever and Holly who is now 4 still likes to go see her old child minder!!
    Everyone gets mum guilt! but you know what, you aren’t just a mum! you are your own person and own life. Your child is part of you. Not all of you!
    Great post and I hope it all works out for you!
    Lx
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • MummySetra March 8, 2017 at 11:08 am

      Thanks Lisa, it’s really nice to hear about other people who do the same thing!

      Reply
  • Emma me and b make tea March 8, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Loved reading this because I am so with you. it really winds me up when people think that all women who have kids seem unable to go back to work/cant work/shouldnt work. I was even told when I went back to work that it was a FACT that children who go to nursery are at greater risk of getting asbos later. I mean really. wtf. my son is at nursery 4 full days and he honestly has the best time. the staff are fab, I joined the parent partner group and my son has blossomed there. I will really miss nursery when he starts school in sept! I wrote a post recently about why I wanted to go back to work. a lot of my points echo your reasons too. 🙂 good luck and congrats on the role! #KCACOLS

    Reply
    • MummySetra March 8, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  • Madeline (This Glorious Life) March 9, 2017 at 11:39 am

    Congratulations! Sounds like this is absolutely the right decision for you and your family, try not to let other people’s opinions get to you! x #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
  • Nicola | Mummy to Dex March 10, 2017 at 9:42 am

    I am so glad I have read of another Mum who is going back full time. I keep reading these blogs where the Mum is scared of going back to work and then I rea don and it’s for 22 hours a week across three days. Urgh. I will be returning 41 hours a week across five days too (although one day will be a half day Saturday!)

    It means I can afford to go on holidays with my babe, buy nice things and relax. Maybe one day I’ll go part time, but now is not that time.
    Thank you for sharing this.

    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Mummy to Dex - The Bloody Brilliant Bloggers Tag - Mummy to Dex May 9, 2017 at 5:01 am

    […] Setra. I’ve had a soft spot for Mummy Setra since reading that she is returning to work full time. Us full time working mummies have got to stick together! As well as being an amazing Mummy, and a […]

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