2017 – a reflection

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2017,

You were a busy old year for me. You were the first full year I spent with my little boy, you were the year where I spent half of the year on maternity leave and the other half back at work, you were the year where my stress levels got to levels they hadn’t reached before, and in the end, you were the year where I finally took a step back and decided enough was enough.

No one can prepare you for just how much your life changes when you become a mother. It comes with highs, lows, challenges and lots of firsts! 2017 – you bought me all of those!

The year started well when I got promoted (whilst on maternity leave!!!), even when my interview was scheduled during the worst part of the 4-month sleep regression. It gave me a big boost – which was needed. I was 5 months into being a mum, and absolutely loving every moment of motherhood; but, I didn’t feel as though I was doing anything for me anymore – it was all to keep this tiny, amazing human alive.

The year has been filled with pointless arguments about pleasing others (families with high expectations), and hence the strong unit we once were as a couple felt deeply compromised. How could having a baby do this? Surely this was supposed to strengthen the unit?

One thing I learnt in 2017? If you let arguments and other peoples needs get in between you (which is easily done when you are sleep deprived and tried), you will become very unhappy.

On reflection, I WISH we hadn’t let other peoples opinions / expectations / needs come before ours. When I look back, we spent most weekends seeing others, not getting to know each other properly which is what we should have been doing, as for the first time in 14 years, we were now 3, not 2.

Another lesson? Time goes way too quickly when you are a full time working mum, and there definitely are not enough hours in the day to be the best employee, the best mother and wife, and still have time left over for yourself. Something always has to give. For me? It was my “release”. After returning to work, I stopped blogging as much, I stopped exercising as much, and I stopped thinking about myself as much.

2017 may have been a stressful year for me, and testing at times, but it wasn’t all bad. It came with some major milestones for the little man and they were the most exciting times! We started eating, started crawling, started walking, started speaking our first words, and went on holiday for the first time…. we had some truly memorable moments which have been captured in my heart forever.

So, what’s going to change for 2018?

  • I am going to start thinking about ME a bit more, and my wellbeing. Stress is not good, and can spiral out of control quite quickly. I need my “releases” back. I have started blogging again, i’m going to get to the gym a bit more, have regular “me” days, and I have bought Fearne Cotton’s Happy journal to write in on a daily basis.
  • Our little family unit (the 3 of us) are THE more important things. Families grow, and family dynamics change – it’s all part and parcel of life, and people should be able to accept that. If we don’t enjoy these moments now, with the speed that the little man is growing up, we’re going to regret our choices.
  • No-one else and their demands / opinions come before ours. We have made sure we have at least one weekend a month in the dairy when we have the whole weekend to ourselves.
  • Time away from our phones. There have been numerous times when the little man is engrossed in In The Night Garden, and I look up to see us both sat either side of him on our phones. We’ll also be sat in the evening on the sofa together watching tv, and will both be sat in silence because we’re on our phones. So, we’re starting with one night a week where the phones do not come out!
  • Yes, I love my career, but my family is number 1. E-mails do not get checked outside of office hours, and I have just had two and a half weeks off over christmas where I managed to not look at my e-mails once – and it felt great!!!!
  • Stop trying to people please. I have always been the person who wants people to like me, and then have a sense of disappointment when that doesn’t happen. That has to stop. Life is too short, and lots of those people really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

So there we have it. 2017 has been a mixed bag, but has taught me many lessons. Many of which will change the way I think forever.

How was it for you?

Mummy Setra x

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

14 Comments

  • Hels January 6, 2018 at 7:20 am

    Happy New Year! I love your resolutions, I think taking time for yourself is so important, especially when you have a child and so much of you revolves around them – I wouldn’t change that for the world but I do sometimes feel like I’ve lost a part of who I was before I had a baby. Completely agree with the phone idea, I’m also trying to read more so I’m trying to leave my phone in my rooms during the evening’s when it’s time spent with Dougie and my husband.
    I hope 2018 is amazing for you, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of your photos and continuing to follow your blog!
    Hels xx
    http://www.thehelsproject.com

    Reply
    • MummySetra January 28, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Thanks Hels!

      Reply
  • Kelly January 6, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    I feel like you’ve been inside my life! I envy back to work full time in April. How do people do this with more than one child?!

    Reply
    • MummySetra January 28, 2018 at 12:38 pm

      I have a friend who does it with 2….. she said it DOES work!! Good luck, you’ll be fab!

      Reply
  • Ruth - Mummy and the Mexicans January 7, 2018 at 5:25 pm

    All the best for 2018! It sounds like last year was quite momentous but too stressful, I hope you’re strict about sticking to your goals and making time for yourself, we forget how important it is and sometimes other people don’t understand. My goals are centred around organising myself better so I have time for the things that are important to me and more time to take my blog more seriously. Being disorganised has caused me lots of stress, too. Good luck for the new year! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • natalie January 7, 2018 at 9:38 pm

    Love this post, congratulations on your promotion! 2017 definitely taught me some lessons – hopefully we will both learn from them. My new year resolution is to concentrate on myself more! Good luck lovely #kcacols

    Reply
  • Laura | Dot Makes 4 January 8, 2018 at 11:11 am

    I love these resolutions! Making time for family and yourself is so important. I really like the no phones time. It’s just so easy to be on it and not focused on the moment!
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Ali Duke January 9, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    I don’t think anything prepares you for how having a child changes your relationship, sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

    Reply
  • Nicola | Mummy to Dex January 10, 2018 at 7:11 pm

    What a whirlwind of a year! I’m sorry you have felt pulled in so many directions, I couldn’t agree with you more though, your unit of three MUST come first. Wishing you all the best for 2018 xx

    Reply
  • Tracey Bowden January 14, 2018 at 11:44 am

    Oh wow it really does sound like a stressful year. I think your resolutions are great. I really need to get back to working out and doing things for me. Now I have a car again a lot of people expect me to be at their beck and call around the blog and my job and my daughter and it is so exhausting I just forget to stop and take some time for me #kcacols

    Reply
  • Lisa Pomerantz January 17, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    Wow, stress, even good stress does a number on us all. It sounds like you have really focussed in on what you want/need to do! I wish for you all the goodness that you strive for!

    Reply
  • Tracey January 19, 2018 at 10:30 pm

    The years certainly fly by so looking after yourself and spending time with your loved ones is the most important thing! Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS hope you can join us again next time 🙂

    Reply
  • Franca January 20, 2018 at 9:14 am

    Wow, what a year you have had! I always think that all type of experiences help us to understand better who we are and what we want. It is the best way to learn from our mistakes and then move on. It is great that you have reflected on your year and have decided to start 2018 with new goals and hopes. That is the best attitude. I wish you all the best for 2018! I hope it is a good one for you! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your reflections and goals with us, #kcacols

    Reply
    • MummySetra January 28, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Thanks Franca!

      Reply

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