The last 8 months have been an absolute whirlwind, so it’s rare that I get to actually sit down and think about how I actually feel.
I can’t believe that in the last 8 months I have given birth, looked after a newborn (and he’s still ok!), and now have an infant who is clapping, squealing and trying to crawl!
I have spent the majority of the time making sure that he is meeting all of the milestones that he should be meeting, and worrying if he is late meeting them. Scrap that, worrying about EVERYTHING! I used to be such a chilled out person, and these days, everything seems to worry me, if only a little bit.
In the past few weeks, following a meeting with my boss to discuss returning to work, I’ve tried to think about my experiences and how I have felt. All because I had some time whilst waiting for a train where I put my phone in my bag, and sat in silence thinking.
I have had many a sleepless night, bags under my eyes in the mornings (thank god for my glasses!), drank copious amounts of coffee, eaten my weight in biscuits, and forgotten to moisturise on more than one occasion!
The daily grind consists of taking care of the little mans every need, food prep, cleaning and other chores. With a little bit of socialising thrown in every now and then for good measure.
I feel as though I have lost ME a little. What happened to taking care of my appearance? I now just shove up my hair and wear the same jeans with a baggy top. What happened to taking care of me? For the past 8 months I haven’t really cared about what it is i’m eating and mostly eaten for comfort (hence the extra pounds!)
And now? I’m at the point where I think it’s time to find me again. I love being a mum, I really do. But, it’s time to start thinking about me too. Time to start shifting the extra pounds, so I can fit into nice clothes, getting my hair done so I feel good again, and just having a little bit more ME time. Time to try and fit in some of the stuff that I enjoyed doing pre-baby. Yes, Mr, that’s where you come in – the chores will have to take a bit of a back seat!
I don’t regret anything from the past 8 months as spending this amount of time with my little boy has been truly amazing, and I will cherish every minute. I just wish i’d got to THIS point where I start thinking about me a bit earlier.
Don’t worry little boy, I won’t neglect you, mummy just needs to find some time for her……. Daddy can start by doing his own ironing……
Mummy S x