A letter to my firstborn at the end of maternity leave

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My gorgeous baby boy,

I can’t believe a year has come to an end already. Everyone told me that it would go quickly, but I don’t think I appreciated just HOW quickly it would disappear. 

This really has been an extraordinary year for us both! At the beginning, it was about us both getting to know each other, and now we have our little daily routine (which we have down to a T). I can’t believe that 12 months ago we had just met you for the first time, with you probably wondering what the hell was going on! And, most importantly – we have kept you alive for 12 months – hoorah!

This year has been filled with laughter and tears (from both of us), and for me has been a steep but enjoyable learning curve. NCT classes got me ready for your birth, but no-one prepares you for how to look after a little human being when you take them home from hospital!

You have turned out to be the most lovely, smiley, gorgeous, boisterous little boy, and I wouldn’t change you for the world. We have had lots of adventures this year, both home and away, but now it’s time for the next part of our journey.

The time has come for mummy to go back to work, and for you to go to nursery. Mummy was asked to apply for a new job whilst on mat leave, and she was offered it – even with it being during the 4 month sleep regression! This is a promotion that mummy didn’t think she would get for years! Because of that, and the fact I have always loved my career, I have decided to go back to work full time, and try to make my career and parenting work as best I can. 

I know it won’t be easy for either of us initially, as all you have ever known is me from the minute you wake up, to the moment you go to bed. Saying this though, thankfully, you love playing and therefore I’m hoping you will enjoy nursery – although on some days I know we will both wake up just longing for a day of cuddles with each other. Whatever happens though, my ultimate goal is to make you happy, so we will review after a month and make sure you are ok. 

I’d like to take this opportunity to let you know just why I’m going back to work, and full time, as you probably have lots of friends whose mummies have cut down their hours to spend time at home with their babies. I did think about it, but then I also thought about what I wanted for you. I don’t want to financially “make do”. I want you to have everything I didn’t have growing up. I want to be able to do nice things with you at the weekends, go on holidays with you from an early age, and also make sure you don’t want for anything (within reason buddy!). I also want to make sure that me and your daddy still get to do nice things for us – such as takeaways and shopping. So, I saw this as the right thing to do. 

Additionally, I want you to see women as equals in the workplace, to know that in your household it’s both your mummy and daddy who bring home the income, and therefore it’s both of us who share the chores and bills. That is something that is really important to me, and the most important thing? I want you to be proud of me. 

So little man, thank you for an amazing year – it’s one that I will treasure forever, and have the fondest of memories from. Now let’s go on to our next chapter.

Love you now and always,

Mummy xx