In 6 weeks time, it’ll be all change again! I’ll have just had a year off work for the first time, and have gone through more emotions than I ever knew were possible! Plus, I managed to bag myself a promotion that I didn’t think would happen for at least 5 years. So, all in all, it’s been a busy year!
I have decided to go back to work full time (as financially it won’t be possible to do so when I have more than one child!), and so the little man is going to be at nursery full time. I feel at ease with this decision as he has turned into the most boisterous of little chaps, and needs constant attention / entertaining, so i’m pretty sure he’s going to have an amazing time. To help my decision, I have also seen friends who have done a similar thing, and their children have not only loved it, but also developed significantly.
All in all, I thought it was a positive move, but, the mum guilt always comes in when people start making comments about your decision.
” 5 days a week, really?’
“Oh, that’s going to be a really long day isn’t it?”
“Full time? How come?”
And after those comments, that’s when you start to feel really sh*t about your decision, and wonder whether you are doing something wrong.
I have since spoken to a number of mum friends who have not gone back to work full time, and hence only have their babies in childcare for a few days a week. I asked them why they made their decisions, and the majority of them said it came down to cost of childcare and how they couldn’t afford it. After they had received their take home pay, and paid nursery, there wouldn’t be anything left. Those conversations made me feel a bit better, as it wasn’t due to the fact that nursery was the “devil”, or only “bad parents” left their children at nursery full time, it was due to the horrific cost of childcare in the UK.
In Sweden, the monthly childcare costs are capped at around £250. I’m going to be paying £1300. I wonder just how many parents would change their mind about the hours they worked if they only had to pay £250.
I think there is also a big difference in generations. Our parents / grandparents generation were used to having a lot of stay at home mums and mums being the ones responsible for raising the children. For me, I went to university, I have worked hard for 10 years to get ahead in my career, and therefore have to try and juggle this and motherhood – something some of the older generations don’t seem to understand.
I grew up with parents who owned a shop and worked full time, with barely any time off. Growing up and seeing this made me realise the value of money, and appreciate just how hard they worked, and what they sacrificed to help us get to where we are now. I want my children to grow up with the same values, and appreciate just why mummy works, and that actually, mummy and daddy both earn money for their family.
I am very fortunate that my salary will cover nursery costs, and that I can carry on with my career. But, just because i’ve made the decision to put my little boy in full time nursery, it doesn’t mean I love him less. I’m doing it so that we can buy him nice things, go on holidays, and appreciate the time that we do have together at weekends by planning in lots of fun days out.
I really wish that people would stop judging, and look at the positives of why nursery will be a good thing!
Mummy S x