Hoorah, your baby is finally here after 9 long months of waiting to meet him / her. They are the most precious thing in the world to you and it’s now all about nurturing them. But, what happens to you?
1. Caffeine and sugar become the new staples in your diet
Pass me the matchsticks please…….the lack of sleep combined with feeding on demand takes its toll on your body, which means you need energy (without sleep!). Pass me the lucozade / chocolate / coffee / biscuits / cake please!! And what is motherhood and maternity leave for? Drinking lattes with fellow mummies of course!
2. Barely having time to wash
Nothing makes you feel more human than having a nice long shower after a sleepless night – erm, but slight problem here – you now have the shortest window of opportunity ever. So as soon as baby is settled it’s a case of stripping on your way to the bathroom and jumping in and out of the shower within minutes whilst listening out for that dreaded cry! Talk about military operation!
3. Grooming is a thing of the past
Shaved legs? Plucked eyebrows? Blow dried hair? Ha! Dream on! A quick rinse in the shower is a luxury, let alone any grooming / preening time! Shaving your legs once a month is a gold medal victory for the mum of a newborn baby! But, who cares? It’s not like you’ll be going out to show them off any time soon………
4. Nothing fits
So, baby is out, your belly starts to go back to normal but there is still one big problem – none of your pre pregnancy clothes fit! Arghhhhhh! It’s a new season and the last thing you want to do is to buy clothes for this “interim” period as you’ll be back in your old clothes before you know it. Won’t you?! (Maybe not with all the sugar consumed!) The result – you feel frumpy in everything you wear as its either too loose or too casual. Raaaahhhhhh!
5. Constantly covered in sick
So, what was your favourite fragrance pre pregnancy? If you’re anything like me, you had a few – occasion dependent. But now, it really doesn’t matter as you (and your shoulder) will constantly smell of “Eau De Vomitte” – lovely!
6. No one asks how you are
During pregnancy when people see your bump they are so lovely and caring checking how you are feeling. But, as soon as you have pushed that bump out, no one seems to care about you anymore and just wants to know how the baby is. Sound familiar? “Erm hello, I do still exist!”
7. Pampering goes out of the window
Remember those pampering experiences? Going for a haircut, getting a mani pedi, going for a spa day – fast forward and there just isn’t time in the day for any of the above, *sigh*, those were the days, why didn’t I do it more?!
8. Hot meals are a thing of the past
Dinner is served! Oh, and right on cue baby needs feeding / changing / cuddles! It’s as though they know that moment when everything is being served onto your plate. If you do manage to eat (or should I say wolf down) a hot meal undisturbed then it turns into a high five moment.
9. Your phone memory is constantly FULL
Never, ever have you taken soooooo many photos, of anything!! A baby comes along and all of a sudden all you do is take constant photos – usually 10 at a time just in case you get one where they are smiling! Time to buy some more storage pronto!
10. Fall crazy in love
So, we’ve all been in love before right? But did you ever think that you could instantly fall head over heels for someone you have only just met?! It’s life changing and makes everything oh so worth it!
Now, pass me the chocolate biscuits!